Pulling on my heart strings..

Not sure where to start with this post.  Just feeling a bit "blah" and worried.  We never asked to be in the "heart community." It's not something one really strives to be in.  You don't choose it.  It chooses you.  Today, I wish it hadn't.

Don't get me wrong.  I'm thankful for the lives the Lord has chosen to cross our paths with.  We have made some dear friends through Ethan's diagnosis and hospital stays.  Ethan is doing GREAT!  But, we are part of a family now- one greater than the typical family tree could contain.  When the surgeon delicately took a scalpel to Ethan's tiny chest, our lives became intertwined with families the world over.  Actually, I'd say when the pediatrician called to tell me of what they saw on Ethan's echocardiogram the MORNING WE WERE TO BE DISCHARGED was the moment we became card-carrying parents of a kid with a "CHD." "1 in 100?"  We had no clue how many families were going through or had already been through such devastation.  This was our baby!  Our (seemingly) perfect baby boy!  In the words of many, "How could something that looks so perfect be so sick?"  It was almost like a cruel joke.

Through our journey, we have learned so much.  Firstly, we know a lot more about the anatomy of a heart!  Secondly, we know that we are lucky.  Ethan's defect(s) could have been so much worse.  His outcome?  Twenty or thirty years ago, there wouldn't have been much hope.  Send him home to peacefully pass in his sleep.  Have any of you watched "Something the Lord Made?"  WOW- so thankful we are living in a time such as this where teeny tiny hears being operated on is nothing new (though still challenging and techniques/innovation change day to day).  If you saw him running around, you would never even know he'd had his heart cut open and worked on, TWICE! He's a madman!  Just tonight, he was doing almost back-dives off the arm of the couch (ok- back dive- singular! Once I saw him do the first and nearly had a heart-attack myself, I nipped that one in the bud!).  Other families?  Not so fortunate.

While this community is great for the times you need support, it's also tough because every day, you read a story (or more) of a little one who may not make it (or didn't).  You are reminded that life is precious and not fair.  You find yourself constantly pacing a virtual "waiting room" while checking for blog updates or Twitter posts or Facebook statuses just to make sure everything is ok.  You hug your own "heart baby" tighter and sometimes wonder if everything truly is ok beating inside that tiny chest.  You pray and ask God's comfort for things you don't quite understand and marvel in the strength He's given to you and others to get through things like this.  You cry.  You pray.  You cry some more.  You sometimes even get mad.

Tonight, I'm approaching the throne on behalf of Bowen, Ewan, Gavin, Greta, Jamar, Joshua, and Nathan.  All of these awesomely precious kiddos are fighting their CHD (or complications from various procedures).  Ewan and Joshua are truly in the fight for their lives.  Please pray God's peace and healing over them as well as His comfort for their families.

Thanks for reading.

Lazy Sunday!

Hola,

Well, since there's not much going on today, I thought I'd stop by and say hi.  Hi.

We've had a pretty good day.  Got a free lunch!  How?  Well, there's a new taco place going in near our Fuddrucker's.  The other day, as we were going to grab a burger, we saw people milling around inside.  Dillon went to see if they were open but was told it wouldn't be until Monday (as in tomorrow).  Today, we found ourselves heading back to Fuddrucker's (haha) and this time, we saw people sitting down and eating.  We figured they might be having a "soft opening," so we moseyed on in.  As we finished up placing our order and Dillon got ready to pay, we were pleasantly surprised to find out they are training their staff and our meal was free!  All in all, it was pretty good.  The name of the place is Fuzzy's Taco Shop.  They are a TX chain, I believe (started in Ft. Worth).  I had the grilled fish sandwich and Dillon had the combo fajita plate.

After that, we went to visit the heart unit at Medical City Dallas Children's Hospital.  Ethan conked out en route, so he and Dillon stayed in the car.  I was going to drop off some supplies to one of the moms and say hi to whoever else was there.  I got to peek in on one of our cutie heart babies and he was wide awake!  Oh, so handsome!  I heard he is doing really well and if his tummy will process full feeds, he can go home soon!!  Another one of our kiddos is recovering from a tracheotomy.  He has to stay another month (!) and then will transfer to another nearby hospital for more training for Mommy and Daddy.  It's tough for both the cuties I mentioned b/c their family is from out of state.  I can't imagine what that's like!

A new "heart baby" came into the world yesterday.  His name is Gavin.  He is currently in a hospital in Tennessee and I know his parents would appreciate your prayers.  He was born with TGA- diagnosed AFTER he was delivered!  Needless to say, his parents were in shock, just as we were when Ethan was born.  Praise the Lord the doctor caught it early so things could get crackin.

Lastly, little Mr. Bowen is giving his doctors, nurses and parents a run for their money.  A victory was celebrated when they took him off the ventilator but then the ol "one step forward, two step back" booger reared it's ugly head and, last I heard, he might have to be re-intubated.  Please pray that's not the case and that there is no where to go but UP from here on out.  As I said on his mom's Facebook wall, it's always frustrating when things finally start to go well with the heart (the reason they are in there in the first place) but then other things creep up.  UGH!  It's like there is no rest for the weary!  Please keep the Hammitt family in your prayers!  www.bowensheart.com

So, in closing, pray for:

Gavin (newborn- TGA)
Jamar (recovering well- hope they can get home soon)
Nathan (post-trach, doing well.  Long road ahead but hope it goes by fast)
Bowen (post-vent, hope he doesn't have to go back on)
Greta (didn't mention her, but she is one of Ethan's heart buddies who had a setback after her release from the hospital and is back in- but due to get out of there soon)

Thanks!

Amy

I need to get back to blogging! Holy cow, it's been waaaay too long! I've signed up to be a blogger/reviewer so I hope that will spur things a bit!

We are doing fantastic! For any strangers to this blog, we now have a little boy named Ethan. He is the love of our lives! He's growing and doing things each day (each moment of the day!) that completely rocks our world and gives us such satisfaction as parents. I can't wait to see what milestones he'll achieve next!

He had a rough start- born with a couple of heart defects (TGA/VSD/ASD). Yes, that was a surprise to all of us but Ethan handled it all like a champ. Today, you would NEVER suspect he ever had an issue unless he lifts his shirt and shows you his scar. He's 21 months old now! CRAZY!

We are trying to sell our house and get something that suits us a bit better. Dillon needs an office (with a door!) for when he works from home. We both currently have our computers in the dining room. Not good for conference calls! Ethan seems to sense the exact times Daddy is busy to try and get him to play.

I'm going to go ahead and close this as it has taken the better of two days for me to even finish it! Let me close with a request.

Matt and Sarah Hammitt's newborn son (he's currently 5 days old) is having severe complications from open heart surgery. He was born with a condition called Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome. He did great through the surgery yesterday but hit a few speed bumps in recovery and had a really rough time last night. He is currently on life support. Matt is the lead singer of Sanctus Real and I know many of you probably know his music. Visit www.bowensheart.com to learn about his heart- Bowen.

Wow, the Auburn game was depressing...

I'm not even going to talk about it...(and they won)

Well, my schedule changed again.  I'm now at the elementary school full-time.  It's not because they didn't want me to travel, though.  It's just...well, I guess they figure I'm only going to be around a few more months, so why not me (no one else wants to, I'm sure).  One upside is my day finishes earlier but that ties in with the downside in that I have to be at work an hour earlier (it changed Dillon's routine a bit as my sis-in-law is staying with us and using the other bathroom...we all kind of leave around the same time).  It's just a little more taxing to interpret for little kiddos.  One, they have the attention span of fruit flies.  Two, I'm like the bridge between them and a strong educational foundation and, three...well, see number two.  It's a little scary!

My back's been bothering me, but not where you'd think.  It's my UPPER back.  It's only when I'm at work, so I'm sure it's from the extra weight and the nature of my job (signing..holding my arms up a lot).  I do try and keep them down by my sides as much as possible.  I think I have a little bit of scoliosis, so I am sure that, because it's around that area where I ache, that's the underlying issue.   I go for a check up on Wednesday so I might ask her about that.  Oh, and ha ha...I did something around the lower achilles area of my right foot today.  I simply got out of the car and felt a little twinge.  Who knows what that's about????  

Other than the above issues, things are going fine.  I officially have cankles, which I'm not that pleased about ;-).  I'm hoping that from here on out, any weight gain will be the expected number and nothing excessive.  I'm doing water aerobics twice a week, so I hope that helps some.  

We got a lot of rain from Ike.  I haven't been able to watch the news, but I've heard Galveston was pretty much devastated.  My in-laws live in Tyler and they lost power today.  I think Ike blew right through there.  

Well, I don't have a lot to say.  Y'all take care.

Not much to write about for now..

That website I spoke of earlier is still in the works, so bear with us.

Well, the school year will kick off tomorrow.  We got our schedules on Friday and I'll be splitting time between our 9th and 10th grade campus and the elementary school.  It's sort of funny.  I was told my home campus would be the 9th and 10th grade (high school) campus and then was asked (via email) if I'd be willing to transfer to the elementary school; that it would help me make my dr's appointments w/o having to take time off, etc...and, "Since it's only for one semester, it wouldn't be terrible."  :p  Yeah, that says a lot, eh?  I politely declined.  Interestingly enough, I am now practically spending the whole rest of the day at the elementary school with a 2nd grader.  One class at the high school and that's it.  Odd?  I say typical.  :-)

I guess we'll see how I do preggers and traveling from campus to campus.  Also, I'll have to go out to recess (and I also have "specials" which alternates between MUSIC (ha ha ha..I hate music...try interpreting "The snake baked a hoecake and set the frog to watch it.."), art, and PE.  LOVE PE.  Art is fine.  Music, not so much.  I'm sure it will be ok.  I just prefer the upper level kiddos.  

As far as OUR kiddo is doing, he's kicking and rolling and poking and prodding.  I'm still thankful for that.  I keep having people tell me that it will start becoming uncomfortable soon, but I like the fact that I know he's "alive and kicking."   Yesterday, I didn't feel him move and that got me concerned.  I think I was just too busy to sit still and really feel him.    

My family threw us a shower a few weeks ago in Alabama and the boy is set for a while as far as clothes go.  We got a lot of clothes!!!  One of my sisters is personally responsible for most of his wardrobe!!  I'm really anxious to get our crib and a few other things b/c I want to get the nursery going.  I can't do a whole lot...but I have the urge to NEST!!  We got a bassinet at a thrift store the other day for $10!  Can you believe it???  I was hoping to use the play yard we registered for (it has a removable bassinet thingy), but since we hadn't gotten it yet, I decided to take advantage of such a great deal.  The crib we picked out converts to a toddler bed then a day bed and then a full sized bed.  That's one thing I want out of our stuff.  I know babies outgrow things quickly, so my thought is, if it costs a lot, it better last!!  

Well, its time to go and get things ready for the week.  Hope all is well with you guys!  

Oh, I go for my glucose tolerance test on Wednesday and also another ultrasound.  I am really hoping I'm not prone to gestational diabetes, but diabetes does run in my family.  I've been doing pretty good as far as weight gain goes, but since the doctor made me cut out diet sodas (I also haven't had hardly any caffeine) as soon as I found out I was pregnant, I'm worried.  I've been drinking water, juice, and decaffeinated things, but they mostly have sugar (other than the water, of course).

Anyway..better run!!   I'll try to remember to check back in after my appointment (or at least the results!).

Take care!!!

Ok, Slicer...

I actually remembered my password, so here I am.  I don't have a lot of time to type right now, but I more or less just wanted to let all my readers (the 3 of you, I think) know that I'll be back and blogging soon.  We will actually have a website, so I may just blog to let you know something's been updated, etc.

For those of you who don't know, we're expecting!!!!  We found out that it's a boy and he will be due in December!   The due date range is the 10-14.  Dillon says as long as it's before Jan 1, whatever works!  MOM (me) says, the 10th sounds really good.  ;-)  Here's a profile shot:

I'm off to Galveston tomorrow for a conference.  Just keep us in your prayers and especially as I start back to work August 18.  I'm not sure what campus I'll be at and I am honestly not looking forward to being preggers and navigating busy hallways teeming with teenyboppers.  Just pray that I'll have patience and endurance.  ;-)  Also pray for our finances as we've been trying to budget as if we're already on one salary (I'll be a stay at home mom for a few years at least).  Things have come up around the house (like broken A/C units) that have hurt the process, but hopefully, we'll get back on track soon.

Thanks and have a great week!!!!!!

Amy, Dillon, Baby Boy, and Giggs

Wow..December seems like so long ago!!!!

Sorry about that!

Is this year moving quickly for you guys, too?  

I feel like whinging a little bit (if I  may use a little Carmel-speak).  You know I don't blog unless I'm mopey, contemplative, or cranky...

I was at the Great Establishment of Christian Chicken the other day (if you have to ask, you don't need to know!), enjoying a lunch to myself.   A cute little girl and her mom sat nearby (because I was pretty close to the play area) and I overheard her mom telling her they were going to switch out her kids meal toy for an ice cream.  Amid the standard toddler line of questioning, she satisfied her little curiosity by confirming the situation by saying, "I don't like this, Mommy?" to which her mom replied, "No.  You don't like that."

I realize that, for the sake of the situation, a Q and A session like that is probably warranted, yet working with the population I do (teens), something seemed to irk me about it.  Isn't it funny how some parents say they want their kids to be their own person but yet don't realize that they're probably the biggest role model in their lives?  This is scary stuff from where I'm sitting.  Eegads... I'm not going to be able to get my point across anytime soon, but let me give an example.  Little Joe has gotten a bad grade in Science class.  He's not done any of the work, whines to the teacher, and badmouths whomever tries to guide him.  He slacks and slacks and has his iPod at the ready, yet never has his books.  Whose fault is this?  You'd think you'd know the answer but I'm sure you can see what's coming.  It's anyone's EXCEPT Little Joe's!  What is wrong with this world when parents are storming the doors of our SENIOR (11th and 12th grades) high schools demanding their child pass and wondering why the teacher hasn't done anything to remedy this?! There's no accountability except on the teacher and the school.  Why are our schools expected to raise our kids?  That's pretty scary stuff, as it is...but that's another blog...  These same little darlings are going to get out in the world and either be rudely awakened or perpetuate this crazy cycle of entitlement and indifference.

Argh.  If we want our kids to be individuals and stand on their own two feet, we've got to give them a firm foundation to build from.  No iPods or cell phones required.   (What happens when you unplug a teen from his/her iPod?  Has anyone tried this??  Do they self-destruct?)

Until next time...

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

We couldn't get the camera centered properly to do a "family picture," but I guess this will do.

We hope you all have a wonderful Christmas and the happiest of New Years!

Please be safe, cherish every moment (even the craziest, crankiest, scroogiest, pull-your-hair-out-because-of-all-the-insanity moments) and don't forget that sometimes even the little things can be the greatest gifts ever given.

In this land of iPods, iPhones, Xboxes and Wiis, may we all take the time to remember the Reason for the Season and treasure the miracle of the birth of our Savior.

Merry Christmas!!!!!

Love,

Dillon, Amy and Giggs

So it's been awhile...

(I added this photo of Dad and a shirt we got him for his birthday!!)

Sorry to keep everyone (all 4 of you?) hanging!!!

Not much has changed since my last blog, if you can believe it!! In fact, I'm morbidly cracked up at that fact. *sigh* The only thing that hasn't is that I never finished what I started, as far as writing went...ah, and my brief soccer career which was interrupted by a minor knee injury. The knee is doing better :-).

The career(s) du jour: teaching or physical therapy (PTA or PT? Not sure...pursuing either would mean a bit of an investment and that fact right there has me thinking, re-thinking, thinking more..and more...and....you get the picture)

Anyway.....

Dad came out for a 2 week visit. He flew back to Alabama yesterday. He's good, but the years are really starting to show, now. I'm just glad that the stroke he had back in October didn't set him back too much. He's not as spry as he was and I know it frustrated him that he couldn't tackle some little home improvement projects I have concocted (we tried stripping wallpaper in the master bath....holy cow. I think they used super glue!!! To avoid further physical therapy, we nixed that project for the time being).

Well, I just thought I'd pop in and get some dust stirred in my little neglected piece of cyberspace. Free antihistamines to all who stop by! ;-)

*cough*

Um.

I'm still here. I just haven't felt like blogging lately. I guess tonight, when I should already be in bed, is different. I am not sure how different, b/c I still don't feel like blogging...yet here I am. The thing is, I LOVE to sleep. It's like...one of my favorite pasttimes. Why am I still on the friggin computer then?!? What do I have against me that I would withold blissful snuggling with my pillow? I don't know. I guess I hate me...or something.

Didn't I mention before how I hate making decisions? I'm sure I did. *goes to check* Yeah, I said that. I probably have said it more times than I think, actually. Well, golly-gee I do hate it. Why? Obvious. One bad decision could lead to a myriad of others and then I'd be on this sick cycle carousel trying to find my way back home. Bacon or sausage? Scrambled or fried (hungry yet?)? Ok so those two don't really make for hard decisions, yet I tend to put the "breakfast" questions in my life up on that pedestal of "Oh man..what if I screw this up!?" Really now. Meat is meat and eggs are eggs. Why can't I see that?

I don't know what my deal is, but I need to let go. I'm tripping out over picking out insurance plans. Ha..nothing like a "what if" thing to completely screw up a "what if" mind!!!! You know...insurance. You're essentially paying for the "what ifs" in life. Of course, with me and medical junk...there are no "what ifs." Have you heard the one about me falling in the shower??? So, this one should be easy, eh? HA!

I just can't seem to figure things out. When I try to "break down" a situation in order to make the task easier, those smaller things end up multiplying like gremlins and becomes a honking heap of question marks. How the heck do I do that??? I swear. I need to channel this skill into something that actually pays the rent. Then I can really get away from my current job :p.

I need a hefty dose of optimism right now. Check that...I need a hefty intravenous dose of optimism. Be sure to add a few CCs of confidence too, while you're at it.

Is there a doctor in the house?

...

*sigh*

I need a hobby. Actually, I have little hobby corpses laying around the house...perfectly good things I thought I'd love to do and was pretty pumped up about at the time of my epiphany...now just in that immortal graveyard of "should have dones."

I'm interpreting in an art class this semester. Oh my gosh, does it kill me to sit there and not be able to participate!! I can equate it to the first year I became a student athletic trainer instead of a student athlete. Oh my goodness...it was all I could do to stay on the sidelines!! I loved working with the soccer and basketball teams. When there was a break in the action, I could juggle a ball or shoot hoops. Football? We trainers would toss the pigskin prior to the players coming out for pregame warm-ups (we even participated in the Manager-Trainer Classic...an annual gridiron (flag) event where it was all fun and games until someone got hurt (broken noses, etc)).

My point? I can't sit still and let life pass me by (even if it's in 50 minute incriments in the classroom)!!! I'm really into this...I'm creative by nature and I need an outlet and quick!! Some days, I feel my head might explode. The problem is, I can't seem to channel this longing into one particular project. Example? I bought a slew of beginner's paints (art set) at Hobby Lobby a few weeks before school resumed. Did I crack it open? Nope. About the only thing I have done within the realm of creativity is frame some photos I've taken. I got great satisfaction in doing so and I'd really like to have some sort of service where if someone wants a particular themed photo (ie...a sepia shot of a dandelion in a field), I go and shoot it for them. LOL. I realize it's not a very lucrative endeavor, but my life's goal is to fill a need. That's what I do best, I think. Filling a need fills my need for filling a need. Get it? LOL.

I'm confusing myself now. I best go...

Anyone need a picture?? :-)

Bbbbbllllaaaaaahhh!!

I just do not handle making decisions very well!!!!

My brain is still ping-pongging ideas about what I'd want to do for a living and, meanwhile, I'm stressed that Plano ISD starts back in early August with the staff reporting July 28. Add to that the fact that my oldest sister (and father) aren't coming in this year, which has me leaning toward going home for another visit pretty quickly. In a way, I really want to, but then I think about how I'll get there (drive=long or flying=uber bucks b/c of the short-notice) and the stuff I still need to get done here BEFORE (if I go back) school starts.

Oy, what a pain!!!!

I emailed someone from the teacher certification program in the elementary department. I want to see what she says and think on that a bit more. Dillon said there's another job opening at Mardel (the one who didn't hire me) and there's another opportunity I could work on, but I'm just not sure......

I don't like being unsure. Why must I make things so difficult...or why do they appear to be so difficult to me?

Thanks for listening.

Everyone's seen it, but I thought I'd jump on the bandwagon as well...

:-)

There's also a survey going 'round about a box set and special remastered CDs being in the works. Pretty cool!!

Quick update on Jimmy:

He's doing pretty good. He's remembering a bit more which is good but also bad in that he is in danger of being over-stimulated and is also growing frustrated when he can't pinpoint what he's trying to say or remember. They are talking about moving him back to Tyler (different facility) soon. We'll go visit him on Sunday and let you guys know more.

He's truly a miracle and we're trying to get him to see that as well. Now, if we can only get him not to fret about his motorcycle!! Eeesh!! He still has gaps where he either repeats himself, plugs in something ambiguous, or says something that shows whatever we just told him didn't quite stick.

Please continue to pray for his family and for Jimmy. Thanks!

As for me, it looks like I'll be interpreting again. I'm such a coward. I can't find anything (even working at Lifeway or Family Christian doesn't look good as the manager won't even call me to set up an interview). I applied at a few physical therapy-related places and have heard zip. The facility offering teacher certification has been emailing me back, but I have to get a copy of my transcripts from one of my colleges and they will only accept requests in WRITING! No calls, no emails. That drives me INSANE. Oh well.

Well, you guys have a great weekend! We're hopefully going to get the windows tinted in the Camry. It's uber hot here!

I should update...

I know most of you read the pirate ship, so you know Jimmy is still with us (there was a biggggg stink over the living will and the fact that not enough time had been given, etc). He's taken some steps (walked about 30 feet), sampled some Jello, said a few words, touched his pregnant daughter-in-law's belly (showing recognition that he remembered she is preggo), and snoozed a lot. He does have pneumonia, so I don't know how this will affect his recovery. They said he's still in that 4 day window where it takes about 4 for the heavy sedation meds to leave the system. Who knows with those ppl, though?? One of the neuros did read the wrong CT....TWICE...on 2 separate occasions....

If he continues to do well, they'll move him to a neuro rehab hospital here in Dallas.

As for me, I'm not fully enjoying my summer due to wondering what's next on the horizon. It's sort of a bummer when I do that to myself :p. Part of me realizes how nice it is to have summer off....and that part of me starts thinking about working in the school system (even if it's going back to interpreting...) which I DON'T want to do merely for the time off!!! The other part of me feels perpetually frustrated and confused over what I should/could be doing now. Yes, motherhood is a possibility, but I'd like to work up until that point (whenever it will be).

Also, I'm still kicking around the idea of taking my resume up to Women of Faith and leaving it with them, hoping they might have a place for me, if it's God's will. I just wish I knew what it is I should do.

Anyway, that's about it.

Oh well...

Hey guys,

Sorry I haven't updated. We left for Alabama May 24 and returned yesterday. It was a nice trip, though I'm convinced there's never enough time when it comes to vacation.

We ended up staying an extra day in Tyler b/c Dillon's uncle Jimmy is in ICU there. He was involved in an accident while on his motorcycle. Apparently, one car motioned for another to pull out into traffic (maybe assuming she was going to pull into the same lane) and that car pulled into Jimmy's lane of travel, hitting him. He wasn't wearing a helmet and isn't expected (at this time) to fully recover. The family is honoring his living will and will not try any heroic measures should he code out.

I wrote about this on the Pirate Ship, so I won't further repeat myself here :).

Ah, back to the "Oh well" title.

I didn't have any "Hey, YOU'RE HIRED!" messages while I was away, so I decided to give Mardel a call. The supervisor wasn't in, but they took down my name and number and said he'd call me back. Hours later, still no word, so I called back. He's not in now, but the person I spoke with let me know the position had been filled.

I didn't call LifeWay b/c of the tone that supervisor took the last time we spoke (When he said the ball's in his court now, which I took to mean, "Hey kid, don't bother me!"). I dunno. I might still call tomorrow.

I don't know what I'll do. The lady I've been meeting with via our "Employee Assistance Program" thru work has yet to order the vocational tests she mentioned weeks ago. My fear is that she's waiting so that I'll come back beyond my 6 free visits. (I had number 4 today) Meh, I don't care. When that sixth visit comes around, I'll shake the dust off my feet and order one online or something (a lot less than the $100/session fee with a counselor). ;-) I am horrible at those, anyway. I can feel my way around the questions enough to have just about the same outcome each time. I need one that will trick me ;-).

Being at the hospital sort of rekindled my "possible" interest in working at one; however, I know there's no "9 to 5" there.

Hehe....so goes my life.

As for home, things are fine. Dad's doing quite well for an almost 75 yr old. His and Mom's 50th would have been last Friday. He still misses her, but is moving on. I wish I lived closer. I miss him a lot. The rest of my family? Hmmm...some I can do without, but Dad and a couple of my aunts are priceless. They're all getting older and I fear that each time I see them will be the last.

Time for supper.

Feeling the need to write...

It's 1am and I don't feel like going to bed. It's funny how that, in the early morning hours (Hahahha..that made me sound like a morning person for a minute there, eh?), I feel more energized to be creative, etc. Sometimes, it's almost like I'm making myself stay up, though.

I have a good soundtrack at this hour: DecembeRadio is keeping me company :-).

Here's a brief (haha..let's just see) rundown of this past week:

• I applied at Mardel, Family Christian, and LifeWay
• I interviewed at Mardel; the mgr at LifeWay is out of town til Tuesday
• I felt like a dork when the mgr at Mardel gave me a math test
• I found out that the teacher certification prgm runs throughout the yr, so if I decide this is something for me, I can jump in anytime
• I got contacts and have worn them all of 2 times (contacts + Amy's early morning eyes don't equal a good start...can't even get them in!)
• Thought about taking my resume to Women of Faith next week (which would now be "this" week)

I'm feeling sort of blah right now..a frustrated blah, but I dunno why. Sometimes, I feel like I live in a box and I just need to get outta there! I'm really finding that I need a creative outlet.

I've been seeing a Christian counselor. Did I say that already? Yeah. Had my 3rd visit today. Eh..it's ok. She's ordered some vocational tests for me to help in finding some direction. Not one meeting goes without relating something to my Mom, which is always good for a cry :p. Today, we got to my mom AND my kids in the Dominican Republic, so that was a LOT of fun :p. I guess it's just good to talk, though. I shared my spaghetti analogy with her today ;-). I wonder what she's thinking when we're done?

Well, good night, guys. I've talked long enough....sigh.

MMMMMMAYDAY!!

Oy.

I gotta think that God has an excellent sense of humor.

I had a brief meeting yesterday with a representative of the teacher certification program I've been talking about. Yes, my science classes (Though heavily PE oriented) will count. Yes, they really need science teachers. Yes, it's a very lucrative discipline in the teaching world. No, I really don't have all that much time to decide as I NEED TO REALLY PIN IT DOWN THIS WEEKEND!!!

*in best Scooby Doo voice* "Uuuhhh??" "Ruh-ro."

I'm so frazzled, I dunno what to type first!! Hehehehehe...

I'm not at peace with any of it (then again, I'm not often at peace with any decision-oriented thing...except maybe dinner).

Here's the timeline:

I need to fill out an application and online interview ASAP ($50).
I need to get 3 references ASAP.
The orientation for science teachers is next TUESDAY.
The career expo/job fair for candidates is next WEDNESDAY.
The deadline for registering for the TeXes (test required to be able to teach) is next THURSDAY.
The study session for TeXes is June 3 (We were planning on driving back from Alabama on that day).
The TeXes test ($117) is June 10.
Science training is a weekend in June (5-8pm).
$450 training charge is due after application is processed. There's a $3200 internship fee and some others here and there. They deduct the $3200 out of your paycheck once you are hired. If I pass the TeXes (and a science pre-test to even get into the program), I'll get certified. I can teach without passing, but on a probationary basis, I think.

What I'm looking at is 4-8 life science or 9-12 life science. (because that's what is needed)

PE would be so much easier :p. They reserve all those type classes for coaches. I've already been told that the Biology needs at one school also involve coaching or cheerleading sponsorship. ACK.

I really don't know....

She said it would be very hard to find an elementary job.....

Dillon and I will talk about it later tonight, but mucho prayers will be appreciated. One of the last things the lady I spoke with told me was, "People shouldn't do this if they're just needing a job." I need to really explore my motives. I know that I'd be studying my rear off trying to relearn everything from 9th grade to college biology just to be prepared to teach it.

Thanks!

Hmm...

Well....

Hello, readers! Not much is going on, but I thought I would update, nonetheless. You know me: wordy, wordy, wordy.

Actually, the office chatter has taken a serious detour so, I'm writing in order to focus on something else!!!

The PE job I was eyeing is now off the list. I guess it was filled.

The lady who was supposed to call me yesterday did call...only it wasn't til this morning and she called 5 minutes before I was to be in class!! She said she was out yesterday, so she didn't get my message til today.

She sounded pretty sure about my science classes and that we can count the higher-level "PE" science classes toward the required 24 credit hours. I dunno..I also mentioned that I was interested in elementary and PE. She (of course she is the contact person for the science dept) said that science teachers are in greater demand and there are virtually no PE jobs and also that elementary level teaching positions are very competitive.

As I have pondered this, I've come across maybe MY idea of what I'd like to teach. Then again, when I think too much, I start doubting!!!!! Anyway, I could see me using my love for medicine and my background in health to teach a myriad of those disciplines to kids who are TRULY interested in it. Ha. How many kids are truly interested in learning when they come to school? Maybe a handful. I'll take those kids. Send the rest to PE ;-). Nah. What I'd like to be able to do is have them learn without them REALIZING it. To me, that's the mark of a good teacher. I dunno if I can do that or not....but I might like to try. I wish I could teach PE too, though. I like that kind of stuff, as well.

Hmmm...

Then again....I just don't know what I'd do with upper-level kiddos. There is SO much disrespect going on in classrooms these days AND, if a teacher so much as looks cross-eyed at a kid, he or she could be fired!! What is UP with that?????

Running to the Light...

Well,

I just wanted to write a brief update to let you guys know that I'm still hanging in there ;-). I still am not sure what's up for next year but, as I told September, I'm sensing there's a light at the end of the tunnel. Well, I know THE Light is shining a path for me. I just need to hone in. He's not letting go of me, and I'm so thankful!!!! I guess instead of clinging to the hair I wish to yank outta my head, I should let go and reach up to Him. Ya think? Yuppo!

As far as the certification from UTD, I've sort of nixed that route. Instead, our region offers alternate methods of certifcation. If you can spell, you can teach.
.
.
.
.
Just kidding!!!!

But seriously, they have a hardcore "speed" method of getting certified, as long as you hold a Bachelor's degree and kept a decent GPA thru most of your hours. There are certain requirements for those in the higher need areas, too. Of course, there are also tests, tests, and more tests to pass, but I hear they train ya pretty well. I phoned them today and, since the lady I need to speak with was busy, I won't hear back til Monday. (Science is a critical needs area, so that's what I asked about...and if I don't have enough "true" science credit (many of my classes post-Biology and A&P are "PE" science classes), I'll either do the early childhood generalist route, or PE.

I have also been searching different school districts' (around here) websites for job openings. There's a PE job in a town nearby, so I gave them a call. Basically, all I need in order to interview is either a teaching certificate OR a letter proving I'm enrolled in a certification program. Cool. I'm gonna have more info come Monday.

By the way, we were offered our contracts for next year yesterday afternoon. Oy. Since it's an "at will" kinda thing, I went ahead and signed mine.

So, that's it for now.

Thanks so much for praying for me. I still get overwhelmed and all blah every now and again, but it's getting better.

Oh well...

Today's not been the best day (carried over from something last night), and my meeting at UTD with their Teacher Certification dept didn't go so well. Let's just say that, combined with an email I got at work (from work), my future is as cloudy as......well, it's just cloudy.

I'm having a hard time keeping my chin up, despite some good Bible reading I did earlier today. I even memorized a verse, but Satan just won't leave me alone. Ah, and wouldn't ya know it? I forgot the "address" of the verse!!! Anyway, it says, "Do not grow weary of doing good, for at the proper time, your reward in heaven will come." (Ok, so that was definitely paraphrased)

I didn't do a focused study, mainly because it was too hard to concentrate in the office today. I have my pocket sized New Testament at work (would like one that is the complete Bible) and I basically read through verses I'd underlined in the past few years. When something spoke to me outside of that, I underlined and noted the date. I like doing that so that when I go back and look over different chapters, I can see how God was speaking to me at that particular time.

Anyway, not to sound like a whiny whinger, but I'm just tired of stuff right now and I don't know what to do. AAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No comments necessary. Not that this was anything worth commenting about :p. I don't know why I even blog. I probably should just keep stuff like this in my own journal (especially if the purpose of my blogging is just to vent). *note to self: vent in journal* There's too much to read on the Net these days, anyway!!!

Ah, I'm rambling.