Um.
I'm still here. I just haven't felt like blogging lately. I guess tonight, when I should already be in bed, is different. I am not sure how different, b/c I still don't feel like blogging...yet here I am. The thing is, I LOVE to sleep. It's like...one of my favorite pasttimes. Why am I still on the friggin computer then?!? What do I have against me that I would withold blissful snuggling with my pillow? I don't know. I guess I hate me...or something.
Didn't I mention before how I hate making decisions? I'm sure I did. *goes to check* Yeah, I said that. I probably have said it more times than I think, actually. Well, golly-gee I do hate it. Why? Obvious. One bad decision could lead to a myriad of others and then I'd be on this sick cycle carousel trying to find my way back home. Bacon or sausage? Scrambled or fried (hungry yet?)? Ok so those two don't really make for hard decisions, yet I tend to put the "breakfast" questions in my life up on that pedestal of "Oh man..what if I screw this up!?" Really now. Meat is meat and eggs are eggs. Why can't I see that?
I don't know what my deal is, but I need to let go. I'm tripping out over picking out insurance plans. Ha..nothing like a "what if" thing to completely screw up a "what if" mind!!!! You know...insurance. You're essentially paying for the "what ifs" in life. Of course, with me and medical junk...there are no "what ifs." Have you heard the one about me falling in the shower??? So, this one should be easy, eh? HA!
I just can't seem to figure things out. When I try to "break down" a situation in order to make the task easier, those smaller things end up multiplying like gremlins and becomes a honking heap of question marks. How the heck do I do that??? I swear. I need to channel this skill into something that actually pays the rent. Then I can really get away from my current job :p.
I need a hefty dose of optimism right now. Check that...I need a hefty intravenous dose of optimism. Be sure to add a few CCs of confidence too, while you're at it.
Is there a doctor in the house?
