Friday, March 11, 2011

Itzabouttimeforanupdate...

dontchathink?

Wow.  Our little charmer is growing up so fast!  I can't believe some of the things he says and does these days!  One thing we are having issues with is him sneaking upstairs to the playroom (while we are downstairs- distracted- like good parents ;0)).  I'll usually either hear him stomping around on the landing between the two flights of stairs or hear his train going after he's successfully made it to the top.  I've reminded him that he needs to ask first so we can watch him go up the stairs and make sure he doesn't fall and get boo boos.  His prompt response is "sawwy" in the uber-most pitiful and repentant voice ever.  He'll come give a hug and a kiss and then he's all happy again as he hops away to play.  If caught in the act before too many stairs are climbed, he'll come over, say "Hop up" and reach up for one of us to scoop him up.  Then, he promptly gives a kiss and a hug and then another kiss for the cherry on top and says, "Peeeeease!"  Ok.  What CAN'T we give him after that cuteness???

I try to jot some of the above examples of sweetness and hilarity into my notes on my phone, just because I want to remember the tiniest thing from when he was little.  I mean, I was just thinking today about how it's so very hard to remember what it was like when he was a baby.  These thoughts came to mind as I was staring at the back of his cute little boy head while he napped, snuggled against me, on the couch this afternoon.  As I lightly played with his hair, I thought, "Where did this little kid come from and what happened to my baby?"  It was then that I realized just how hard it could be to recall things from the past 2 years.  Such a short span of time!  What will it be like when he's 10? 20? 30? How in the world will I be able to cling to all these precious memories?!?!  It saddens my heart- though each day there is something new that makes me smile or warms my heart.  It seems like for every new memory, 10 are wiped out!  Maybe it's me and my "hard drive." LOL.  I'm old.  This is why we blog....and why I need to blog more!!  Argh!!

Right now, I have three pictures of my little man staring back at me as they are propped up on the front of my computer.  Ethan is probably 4 or 5 months old in them.  Looking at the pictures, I remember where we were and sort of what we did that day but, beyond that, it's hard to remember Ethan actually BEING 5 months old!  One picture is of my dad holding him.  Those photo ops didn't happen often as, each time we'd get back for a visit, his mind and body would be slipping more and more away.  It went from me being a little nervous about him holding our little squirmy worm to him not being able to hold him at all b/c he didn't have the strength.  The pic standing before me just now is so special, but it's hard to remember that there ever was a day where Dad COULD hold him and interact. Man, I'm thankful for pictures!!!!  I can't wait to show Ethan tomorrow and hear him say, "PaPAW!" in the super-excited way he exclaims things he's discovered or notices.  LOVE it!

I haven't blogged since my dad died, have I?  Oh.  Man...it's been a while, huh?

I kind of thought he would live for a lot longer.  I know things were looking kind of grim, but he's one of the toughest cookies I've ever known and VERY stubborn (I had to get it from somewhere, right??).  I just knew he'd tough it out another 5-10 years just to prove people wrong.  Ah, but his heart was with my mom who left us in 2003 and, well...once your heart goes, your body is soon to follow.

Dad passed away on January 25, 2011 at 6:25pm.  He had been batting urinary tract infections and had just been released from the hospital a couple of days before.  It happened so quickly- questionable behavior around 12:30 that afternoon and then an ambulance ride to the ER.  His lungs were filling with fluid.  His body was shutting down.   It happened quickly.  It happened peacefully.  I wish I could have gotten there in time.  I had gotten word he was in the ER and that I should start thinking about coming home sooner (we had planned a trip for later in February).  As things declined, we hurried to pack up the car (planning to drive through the night) but dear old Dad just couldn't wait any longer.  I'm 100% ok with that.  He needed the rest and release.  I just hate it that he never got to hear Ethan say his name.  We drove through the night, anyway, just so we could get there.  It seemed like the thing to do.

Ok.  What else is going on around here?  Ethan knows most of the alphabet.  He absolutely loves reading letters and will find them EVERYWHERE! He gets SOOO excited!  It's so funny.  It seemed like he wasn't ever going to get it.  We've had his Alphabet Train since before he turned 1 and I used to sit in the floor and call out the letters on each block as we stacked them.  Well, he wouldn't even slow down long enough to care and just delighted in destroying my stacks! It got to where if I thought about it, I would point out letters here and there.  It really helps that he watches shows like "Word World" and "Super Why."  I guess there's just something about a cartoon character that makes learning a lot more fun than listening to Mom. ;-) My thing is, he knows the letters in their capital form.  How in the world do you teach them lower case letters?  He sees lower case b's and d's and calls them "P!"  ;-)

From a health standpoint, he seems to be doing great.  He's still a grazer as far as eating goes, but he will pack away the strawberries and eggs if given the chance.  He's not as big a veggie eater as he used to be (why does that happen??) but I'm just glad he eats!  He burns it off as fast as he takes it in, though!  We go back to see Dr. Thomas in June.  Yes, June.  It's been FOREVER since we've gotten a peek inside that little ticker and we are fighting the urge to see if we can move his appointment up!  The ol anxiety is starting to creep up.  I mean, he looks and acts GREAT but he was looking and acting great the day they found the scar tissue in his pulmonary artery and told us he'd need surgery.  Ah, the woes of a heart parent!  Man, though!  After meeting so many heart families in the past two years, we consider ourselves very fortunate that this is all we are worried about.  So many babies and kids have such uphill battles to face and some, sadly, have lost.  You rejoice with the milestones but grieve (hard) for the losses.  It hurts.  It takes a big toll.  Sometimes, I wish I'd never heard of CHDs.

Well, I think I've written enough for a month's worth of blog posts in just this one so I had better go.

Heart hugs and prayers for our friends:  Nathan (hopefully going home soon after spending his first 9 months of life in the hospital), Bowen (recovering from his 2nd open heart surgery and doing great!), Garon (Tetralogy of Fallot- having a tough time), Kyle (post-Glenn and trach), Thomas (upcoming surgery), Caiden (upcoming surgery) and Annabelle (awaiting her sparkly new heart).  If I have left someone out, I apologize.  We pray for these little ones daily.

If you're in the Dallas area, come walk with us April 2nd as we work to raise funds and awareness for CHDs!  It's $20 to walk (per adult).  If you can't walk, give :0): http://imhwalkforchd.kintera.org/ldhs/ethankyle  Our team name is Heart Budz.

Much love,

Amy

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