SHE'S GONNA BLOW!!!!!
Ok. So maybe that was too dramatic. Don't panic. I'm O-K. Everything is OOOOO-K.
Actually, I had an epiphany while at work. It's amazing that my mind is able to do anything productive at the moment it did, but wonders never seem to cease.
I think I've nailed down the core of my frustration, as far as my job goes. (Oy, here she goes again, ladies and gentlemen).
I left my 7th period class feeling absolutely morally violated. Yep. It's amazing what these little teenaged critters can do to me, just with their words.
I won't get into detail about the things that passed between my ears (I really should get to walk around with headphones like the other (subconscious) filth-dodgers get to do, but I guess that wouldn't be prudent since my job is to interpret what I hear!). I will tell you that the bulk of the conversation I overheard (dominated by one guy) ran the gamut of drug use and sex. Those are probably the two most overused words when it comes to our fears about teens...well, let me tell you...if that conversation is ANY indication, we should be VERY WORRIED!!! :-(
We were in the library. I wasn't sitting at their table, but across the small area from them (towards the back, where some computers are). I could hear almost every word spoken. I would have been signing those very words had my student not been engrossed in her research on the project they were to be working on. Oh, how I wish I could have tuned them out as she did..... Instead, I tried reading the book I carry with me. I also felt a feeling I haven't really had since one time last year: the urgency to pray.
I prayed, not only for God to block my ears from the things that were invading them, but also for that boy and his friends. It nearly made me cry. I felt so out of control of the situation. I couldn't tell them to stop saying what they were saying. Moreover, I couldn't do what I TRULY wanted: I wanted to go over there and jerk him up and shake him and warn him that he's perpetually throwing his life away each time he does the things he says he does (and the way he spoke, he surely wasn't making it up).
If I were a teacher (or even a librarian, custodial worker, or computer tech), I could have said something to them. I could have at least walked over there and asked them why they weren't working. Instead, I finally caught the kid's eye (with a talent I've honed to a craft: the evil glare) and he just bobbed his head and said, "Hey. How's it goin?" There was some nervous chatter, mixed in with "I don't care.." and then he changed the subject a bit (but it then took another immoral spin, unfortunately). I even took out my notebook and acted as if I were documenting something.
Argh. I realize that, as a teacher, I would be limited as to what sort of "relationship" I could have with my students. I would hope I could "be there for them" at least to say some encouraging things in the classroom (or on their work) or even at parent-teacher conferences.
I'm not saying I'm heading down the educator path, but I'm just saying that this ethical "sit back and blend in with the furniture" thing isn't for me.
Thanks for listening. Emily, if you're reading this, I know you understand.
5 comments:
Forgive my ignorance on the situation, but why aren't you allowed to say anything at all? As an adult? As a staff person?
*hugs* for you.
Because I'm strictly a communicator. Essentially, I am "invisible," as if I'm not actually there. I'm not to be an extra set of eyes or ears (only for the Deaf person). So, had I been interpreting that conversation, it would have been my client's responsibility to say something, if he/she were offended.
For instance, when a teacher leaves the room, I leave the room. I am not an educator, but merely a communication facilitator. I can't discipline or call anyone out. I cannot participate in class discussions or chat with students (or teachers). I can't express my opinion on matters. I am like...Switzerland ;-).
Fun, eh?
Now, in the halls, that's a different story ;-). I'm not in the interpreter role.
What if a crime was being committed? Well, in that sense, I certainly would speak up. If a fight broke out (in the library...but not in the classroom, b/c I'd never put myself in the position to be alone with the kids), I would "step out of" my role and tell them to knock it off or get help, primarily b/c these kids (most of them) are under 18.
I can't even tell my student to stop fiddling with their cell phone and pay attention. Argh!
Oh, and the library DID have other adults in it (teachers/staff), but none were close by the situation.
Sometimes, if I know there won't be any interpreting going on, I'll try to position myself away from groups of kids and stick my nose in a book. Usually, I'll find our teacher and sit with them. Ours wasn't there that day and they combined classes.
Ahhh.... gotcha. Thanks for explaining that. I can see how that could get very frustrating. :-S
Amy... I'm just catching up on blogs. And YES, I DO understand. Heck, I get frustrated when I can't give my opinion in OFFICE interpreting situations. Educational interpreters... it's a whole new ball game.
At least you have one thing that other terps don't have. You have Jesus and the power of prayer. Thank God for that. I'll be praying for you for these kinds of situations. Especially that God will shine a light out of you ALWAYS... remember how he said that if we're silent even the rocks and trees will cry out? Well, I'm going to pray that there's a way your "forced silence" can work in conjunction with the rocks and trees... errr... books and librarians.
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